2018 Horoscope – Thinking about a new Sales role?

It’s that time of year again when we look for a higher power to guide us on a potential new career journey.

Having heard one too many people complain about their job over the past year and still not do anything to change it, I have decided to channel my F.F.S. mutterings into a (hopefully) more helpful list of 12 signs that you need a change of role in 2018.

Also, because many people want assurances that they will make the right decision, I have decided to label them under the ‘always reliable, never wrong’ 12 signs of the Zodiac, so as to mitigate the risks of you changing job;


Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You have always loved to learn from people who were smarter than you.

Learning something you didn’t know from your colleagues meant you were growing and becoming better than you were.

Now you’re not learning from others in the room, meaning the chances are you’re now the smartest in the room.

If you’re the smartest in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Get out Aquarius.


Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Sundays used to go so swimmingly didn’t they Pisces?

Most people hate Monday mornings, whether because of the inevitable “How was your weekend?” questions, or the feeling of stress as the cortisol increases in your body, it’s a common feeling.

Now that Venus has entered Neptune, it is when you start to realise that you hate Sundays too.

You hate them because you have already started thinking about tomorrow.

When you’re looking at the clock on Sunday hoping it slows down, that’s a sign from the Universe telling you to change.


Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Where did the optimistic Aries we all know and love go?

You started in the company with such positivity and high hopes, not to mention a seemingly never ending supply of energy.

Now you’re in meetings thinking ‘that won’t work’ or ‘yeah, I’ve heard that before’.

What happened?

Only you know and more importantly, only you can change it.


Taurus (April 20 –May 20)

Wow Taurus, you’re on top!

The stars are in your favour.

Problem is; there is only one way to go from here.

If there isn’t another internal mountain to climb, you’ll need to jump ship and follow the night stars to your next port of call.

No Bull Taurus, it’s time to set sail.


Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Where did it all go wrong for you two Gemini?

If Taurus is on top of the mountain, you’re both at the bottom and you can’t see a way up to the peak.

You’ve both been struggling to get any traction for a while now and have run out of ideas.

It’s time to let the other twin take control; you know the one, the one who knows the difference between perseverance and banging your heads against a brick wall


Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’re known as the homely type Cancer and for good reason.

Everyone in your industry knows you and they love you for always being there for them.

Like the furniture at your mum and dad’s house, you make it all so…comfortable.

If you’re totally at home at all your industry functions, then maybe you’ve outstayed your welcome.

“Hey homebody, a padded room is comfortable, but it doesn’t mean you want to be there”.


Leo (July 23 – August 22)

From being a cowardly lion, to the fearless king of the jungle, no one has you rattled.

That’s the problem in your stars Leo, you have forgotten that fear gave you drive to achieve more.

You’re no longer afraid of failing and losing it all.

And, if you’re not fearful of failing, it means you’re not pushing the boundaries of your kingdom hard enough anymore.

It’s a matter of time before a hungrier cat pounces and claims your turf.

Explore a new jungle and be that hungry cat.


Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

I remember the first time too, and the second and the third.

But now you’re no longer exploring new territories or re-signing customers you haven’t won before.

You’ve been here before Virgo and the thrill of the chase has gone.

Your next goal was accomplished already once before.

Uranus tells me that it’s time for your star to shine elsewhere and for another star to shine here.


Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Some things are better left unsaid.

You used to know that, but the Moon tide is making you point out the ‘elephant in the room’ at every meeting and opportunity.

No matter how hard you try, the moonlight has empowered you to be the spokesperson for everyone’s collective ignorance of what the ‘real’ problem is and what needs to be done to solve it.

“Why won’t they listen?” you ask.

Breaking News – They all know and now you’ve embarrassed everybody.

Leave quietly.


Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Remember when you were the new guy in town?

You were new to the dream team and together you achieved such great things.

Collectively, you and your close peers were a constellation of shooting stars within both your business and the industry as a whole.

Now those same people have moved on, either up the ranks or on to greener pastures.

Not you though, you’re the last one standing, watching newbies coming and going too.

It stings doesn’t it?


Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Do you know how many sick days you have left?

If you answered no, stay where you are.

If you answered yes, it’s time to find another job in 2018.

Much like your sister Pisces, you are not present.

You have taken too many sick days off because you didn’t want to be at work and now you’re conscious of the fact that others may know what you’re up to.

Get off the back foot and front foot it out of there.


Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)


The Astrological forces have been saving the best sign that you’re ready to move to a new role until last.

It’s your time of year Capricorn, I’m not ‘kidding’ (that was a goat reference there by the way)

How do I know you ask?

Because you’re reading an astrological themed article on LinkedIn, from a middle aged guy you haven’t met living in New Zealand, looking for answers on whether YOU should get out of your current sales role or not.

I don’t think you need to look to the stars for your answer.


Next week will be my last article for the 2017 year, so please come back to check it out.

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